Not Folly

The Best Self-Help Book Ever Written

“You complete me…” We all know the second-most favorite line from the 1996 rom-com Jerry Macguire. This is a common thought in discussions of relationships. Two people join together to make a unified whole. With couples, this typically signifies certain areas where each person compromises. Merriam-Webster defines the verb compromise as “to come to agreement by mutual concession.” Both people give something up. There are times when each person’s wishes are not fulfilled. Why? Because they are still individuals, governed (at least to some extent) by their own individual wants and desires. Through compromise, each person loses something that was,…
The “Easy” Hard Question

There is one question that non-believers, and even some believers, have a hard time with. I’ve even seen non-believers try to use this as a “gotcha” question. But I think all you have to do is get into scripture to understand the answer. One version of the question (which is presented in many different forms) is: Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? Yes. On its face, that is a hard question. But it’s also a very easy question in many ways. Because of free will, Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of…
3,000 Watts

Picture it. Sicily. 1922. Okay, just kidding. It was actually La Maddalena, 2003. La Maddalena is a tiny, Italian island off the northeast coast of Sardegna, which itself is an island about 120 miles west of mainland Italy. When I arrived there in the summer of 2003, I was 6 months pregnant with my first daughter. I was going to be stationed at the Naval Support Activity there and work as a paralegal in the base legal office. There was base housing available, but it was on the other side of the island and not very convenient. Working at base…
Everybody Needs a Little Grace

Grace. That can be a hard one. I have been known to occasionally respond to situations in a passive aggressive manner. Especially as it relates to customer service. For a while, I made excuses for this behavior. It’s okay for me to be frustrated because I spent years in customer service. I know what good customer service is, and this isn’t it. That was the lie I told myself to justify my bad behavior. Today, I made an appointment to have the oil changed on my vehicle at a major retail box store’s auto center. Realizing it was Saturday, I…
The Hardest Day to be Grateful For

The featured photo on this post is from the U.S. Embassy in Singapore where I commemorated the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks. It was an emotional time for me as I was going through the transition process after being selected for Chief Petty Officer. Part of the transition season is that it is a time to reflect on what brought you to the point where you will receive your Anchors, the emblem of the Chief Petty Officer. If you’re not familiar with it, this season separates the Navy from her sister services and is an intensive, weeks-long journey…
Don’t Worry, Be Happy

It’s been a rough year. My work-life balance went from amazing to untenable. This led to strained personal relationships and serious financial burdens. I have always lived my life with the mindset, “Everything happens for a reason.” I don’t allow myself to wallow in negativity because, even without acknowledging it is in God’s hands, I know there is a purpose for every problem, trial and tribulation. This overall mindset has helped me to have an incredibly positive outlook on life, and for that, I am grateful. One of my kids is the typical, glass half-empty pessimist. I hate that for…
The Pride Problem

I’ve got a problem with pride. I am a type-A person from a family full of type-As. Type-As tend to be driven and successful. This is true for me, and while I know that not everything I do is a success, I am proud of my accomplishments. But as I review the topic index of my study Bible, the list under “Pride” is…well, let’s just call it troubling. Beware of the Sin of Pride The Danger of Pride The Perils of Pride Pride and Self-Praise Sorrow Awaits the Proud Avoid Pride and Vanity The Consequences of Pride The list goes…
God-moments

God-moments happen all around us, every day. Even (sometimes especially) when we are not on the best terms with God. We don’t always have the insight to recognize them as God-moments. We might think they are coincidence, an accident, or even dumb luck. The more attuned we are in our relationship with God, the more likely we are to recognize these God-moments when they happen. Almost a year ago, and before I really began working on mending my own relationship with God, I went on a retreat for veterans and first responders. It was amazing, although one of their main…
Only One TRUTH

My morning quiet time routine is pretty basic. Sometimes I do it before I go out to take care of the animals, sometimes I do it right after (it depends on how hot it is going to be that day). I sit down with my bible, my journal, and my phone (yes…my phone). I pull up the verse of the day on my Bible app and write it down in my journal, then I read the chapter it came from. I marinate on that for awhile, then I journal my thoughts. Sometimes my journaling has to do with the verse,…
Amazing Grace

Stop for a moment and think about grace. What a simple, yet powerful word! Generally speaking, it is defined as a pleasant way of behaving by showing kindness to another person. Christians know that grace is a gift from God. I was listening to a podcast awhile back…I can’t remember who said it, but the guest made the statement, “Grace is love stooping.” Whoa… What a beautiful sentiment. Like a parent, bending patiently down to help their child tie their shoe for the gazillionth time. Without judgment, without anger, the parent shows grace for their little one…not because the child…

Not Folly

Selected Writings