Fake it ‘til you make it!

Growing up, I never thought of myself as confident. I wasn’t afraid, mind you…but I didn’t see myself as having the type of swag normally associated with confident people.

I was raised in a Type-A household by two Type-A parents and with two Type-A siblings. Yikes. That’s a LOT of A in one home.

I didn’t intentionally seek leadership in school, but did end up in leadership roles on occasion. I always thought of myself as a “normal” person: not popular, not unpopular, just friendly with everyone. I never really considered myself to be shy. A little introverted at first maybe, but I certainly didn’t think of myself as overtly confident. ‘Til one day….

I walked into a very crowded bar. There were hundreds of people there and the U-shaped bar was right smack in the middle. There were two levels – one portion was a few steps higher than the rest of the establishment and there were steps you walked down to get to the bar.

As I made my way to the bar, the bartender approached me and commented on my apparent confidence. He said, “You walked down those steps in a way that made everyone turn and watch you.”

You’ve got to be kidding me….I thought. That might be the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard. Later as the crowd thinned out, I spoke to the bartender again. As it turns out, it wasn’t a pick up line. It became a job offer. He was opening a new bar location and wanted to hire a bartender who knew how to control the room. That’s what he saw in me when I walked down those stairs.

Esther probably never considered herself particularly confident either. Living in a world where women were in many ways considered disposable, standing up confidently could be a death wish.

Afterfasting for three days, and asking others to fast also, she stood up confidently. Not just once, but multiple times. Just because she stood up confidently doesn’t mean she felt it in her soul. But Esther knew that by putting her faith in the Lord, she could stand confidently and face her enemies. Esther’s willingness to stand up, not only for herself, but her people, changed the course of history for the Jewish people. As Mordecai said, perhaps she was made queen “for just such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).

In a similar (but nowhere near as dramatic) way, the confidence I demonstrated in the bar that night changed my future as well. I started a career I had never considered and spent quite a few years bartending for my new boss. While my life had much greater things in store for me, the interpersonal skills I learned (and the ability to read people I developed) while bartending became an invaluable gift to my future self.

Sometimes it is hard to walk through a new door into unchartered territory. when you feel that way, just close your eyes, say a little prayer, then fake it ’til you make it!